Your Best Prospects Probably Aren't on Your Warm List

Almost every new builder hears the same advice in week one. Write down everyone you know. Friends, family, old classmates, colleagues. Start there.

It's reasonable advice. Those people already know you, and trust takes time to build with strangers. The trouble starts when the warm list becomes the whole plan.

Why the warm list runs out

Most people's warm list is a few hundred names at best. Some will be interested, many won't, and a handful will be put off by being asked at all.

If you keep going back to the same circle, two things happen. You run out of people, and you start spending goodwill you can't easily win back. Friendships are worth more than any order.

There's a quieter problem too. The people closest to you were chosen for reasons that have nothing to do with your business. Being someone's friend doesn't make them the right fit for what you offer.

Appear at points which the enemy must hasten to defend; march swiftly to places where you are not expected. — Sun Tzu

Go where the right people already are

Sun Tzu talks about moving to the places others aren't watching. In prospecting, that usually means looking past the obvious circle to the groups where the people who would value your offer already gather.

Start by describing the person you serve best, as specifically as you can. Their stage of life, what they care about, what they're already trying to do for themselves or their family.

Then ask where that person spends time. A running club, a parents' group, a hobby class, an online community about the very thing your product helps with. Those rooms are full of people who already care about what you care about.

Join as a person first

The fastest way to ruin a new group is to arrive with a pitch. People can smell it, and they will close ranks.

• Be useful before you are visible. Answer questions, share what you've learned, encourage people who are trying.
• Be curious about them. Ask what brought them there and what they're working on. Remember the answers.
• Let your work be discoverable rather than announced. If someone asks what you do, tell them plainly and briefly. That's enough.
• Keep a simple record. Each evening, note who you met, where, and one detail you'll remember. That record becomes your list.

Three to five new people a week is plenty. Over a year that's a couple of hundred real connections, most of them with people who share the interest that brought you together.

Online counts, with the same rules

Online groups work the same way. Comment thoughtfully on posts, reply to people who reply to you, send a friendly message to someone whose work you admire. Then let the relationship grow at its own pace.

The mistake is treating a new connection as a lead the moment they accept your request. A copy-paste message about an opportunity, sent to a stranger, does more damage to your name than silence would.

What about the warm list?

Keep it, and treat it with care. Share your work with the people close to you once, honestly, and respect their answer. Many will become your best customers in time, simply because they watched you do things properly.

Just don't build the whole business on it. A business that depends on the next friend saying yes has a short runway.

So look at your list honestly this week. How many of the names on it are people you chose, and how many are people who would choose what you offer?