Leave the Door Open: What Sun Tzu Teaches About Never Cornering People

When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard. — Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu understood something about people under pressure. Trap an army completely and it has nothing to lose, so it fights to the last. Leave it a way out and it will often take it.

He was writing about war. The same instinct shows up every day in sales conversations, follow-ups and team meetings.

What cornering looks like

Most of us would never call ourselves pushy. Yet a lot of common habits in this industry quietly close every exit.

• Answering every objection immediately, so the other person runs out of reasons rather than changing their mind.
• Creating false urgency: "This offer ends tonight" when it doesn't.
• Asking for a decision in front of other people, where saying no would mean losing face.
• Following up with the same question until the other person gives in or disappears.

Each of these can produce a yes. It's usually a reluctant one, and reluctant customers rarely stay or refer anyone.

Why the open door works

When people feel free to say no, they relax. When they relax, they think more clearly about whether they actually want what you're offering.

Some will still decline, and that's fine. The ones who say yes say it properly, and they stay.

The ones who decline leave with their dignity intact and a good memory of you. That memory is worth a great deal. Circumstances change, and people come back to the person who treated them well.

How to leave the door open

• Say the exit out loud. "If it's not right for you, that's completely fine." Hearing it said makes people far more willing to stay and listen.
• Treat objections as information. Ask what's behind the concern before you respond. Often the real worry is different from the first one mentioned.
• Agree on time, not pressure. If someone needs to think, ask when you may check in, then honour that date.
• Let a no be a complete sentence. Thank them, keep the friendship, and don't reopen the subject unless they do.

Inside your own team

The principle applies to partners as well. A leader who corners a struggling team member with targets and guilt usually gets either a quiet resignation or a defensive argument.

Leave the door open there too. Ask what is getting in the way. Offer a smaller next step. Make it safe to admit they're stuck, because people only ask for help where it's safe to.

So the next time you feel the urge to close every exit, stop for a second and ask: would I want this person's yes if it came from having no way out?